Shitty

3:30am. I can't sleep, I haven't even tried to close my eyes, because i'm afraid there's no way I'll wake up when the alarm sounds. There is nothing, but a dark room filled with furniture and walls covered with paintings surrounding me. I can make a few small predictions. The alarm will go off in an hour, my sister  will flip on the lights and I'll be lying here, eyes red, pupils dilated, unable to move, because I wasted tonight masturbating, writing on paper for once, digging up lost memories over the past few years and drinking chai to cure any sadness. I wouldn't call this misery, but I won't deny that I'll feel miserable at 430am.